My Life as a Flip Flop
My name is Flippy the Flip Flop. Right now I am meditating in my nice little, dark shoe box. I am meditating on happy thoughts right now because I have avoided being bought for three days. I hear someone coming, but they probably won’t buy me. Ah! The light, it burns! "Mommy, Mommy, can I get this flip flop?" The evil boy who was holding me so tight in the toe separator whined, "Pretty please Mommy! They look so cool!" I look cool? Maybe he isn’t so bad after all!
"OK, but try them on first." Try me on? This sounded bad.
"OK," said the boy sounding excited.
He stuck his bare feet on my body. Bare feet! Pee-u those feet are so stinky! I was coughing and choking with now bad they stunk. That also changed my opinion on him from a nine to a zero! "Mommy they fit. Now can I get them?" asked the boy.
"Yes, but you have to buy them." replied his mom.
"Yeah!" yelled the boy. They took me to the check out counter after I was in my box.
"Hi Marlene. How are you doing?" I heard in a muffled voice. Maybe it was the clerk’s.
"Oh, the usual." I thought that was Evil’s mom (Evil is my new nickname for the boy), "Just getting Dennis a new pair of sandals." Dennis is his name. That was my last thought before I fell into a deep, deep sleep.
I woke with a start. Where was I? I peeked my head out of the box. I looked around and learned that I was underneath a car seat. I laid back down in my box and closed my eyes trying to sleep. "Yo."
"Ahhhh!" I screamed.
"Calm down. It’s just me Gum Rapper," some mysterious person who scared me so unexpectedly told me. That calmed me down a little but I still didn’t know who he was for sure, and I didn’t know where he came from or how he got here.
"H how did you get here?" I stammered.
"You’re probably still in shock meeting me so unexpectedly, so do you want to hear the full story?" he replied.
I nodded my head unsure. "OK," I said.
"Here is how it went" told Gum Rapper, "My wife and I went on our honeymoon and took a trip in a big plastic bag called Bubblicious Bag of 100 gum pieces. We were not the only ones on this trip. After about a week, people or couples started to disappear. We all figured that that fiend was behind all the disappearances." He took a deep, long breath, "We were the last people to be taken out of the big bag. He picked us up and twisted my wife out of me. He dropped me on this car’s floor and, thought I fear it, I think he ate her."
There was a long pause, and then I said, "I’m sorry."
"It’s all cool. You have to get on with life anyway. What’s your story?"
"My story?" I laughed, "My story is that I was just bought by Evil!"
"Evil?" he asked.
"Yeah, I nicknamed that kid Evil," I replied.
"Oh," he said, "here they come."
"See ya," I said.
"Peace out," he replied.
They were back. "Mommy, can we go to the beach? Mommy please," the boy asked.
"Ok, do you want to wear your new flip flops?" his mom replied.
"Ok, then, we’re off to the beach" his mom told him.
Ah, the beach. Such a wondrous place. I think I could liv flip flop, flip, flop. Ah, ee, oo, ah. Hot sand, hot sand! My soul is on fire! Someone put it out! Put it our! Splash! Ah the water feels so good on the soul, except I can’t breathe! "Hey, Dennis! Take off your shoes!" his mom yelled, "you’ll ruin them!"
"Ok, Mommy," he called back. He took me off and out of the water. I gasped for air. I got all I wanted because he threw me to his mom. Hey! I can see my box from here! Oh-oh. Please, soft landing, I prayed. Just as I was about to hit the ground I stopped in mid-air. Phew! His mom caught me just in time.
"Dennis, don’t throw your shoes!" she yelled at him sounding pretty mad. She set me down on a towel and laid on her chair.
Maybe, just maybe, being owned by him wouldn’t be so bad after all. With his mom looking out for me, and Gum Rapper as a friend. But I still don’t know for sure. But hey, time will unravel that for me.
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User Legend: Moderator Trusted User
Single and making less than $64,000? Good luck finding a place to live in Summit County.