Welcome to the Rascal Fair | ParkRecord.com

Welcome to the Rascal Fair

By Jay Meehan
Park Record columnist

Just when I finally became able to shake the vision of Donald Trump in a lip-lock with Vladimir Putin, along come Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, and FBI Director James Comey with their recent slo-mo mud-wrestling exhibition to fill the void. There appears to be no escaping the politically lurid this year.

Up until then, Chaffetz's sole relevant entrée into this election cycle had been as the answer to the trivia question: Who out there is more conniving while possessing even less integrity than Donald Trump? Comey's intrusion into the equation completely blindsided me. I'd always considered him a "bad actor," but this was beyond the pale.

And by the way, wasn't Comey the same guy Chaffetz so completely dressed down during national television coverage of the Congressional Oversight Committee's investigation into the FBI's handling of Hillary Clinton's email scandal?

Of course, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis proved long ago you needn't be friends to successfully conspire.

I’m sure if the shoe were on the other foot and I had a chance to throw a monkey wrench into the inner-workings of the Trump campaign, I would apply a bit of cammo, tie on a headband and proceed to get ‘medieval’ with the process.

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Admittedly, I've long had issues with Hillary. I have never been a huge fan of her husband, William Jefferson Clinton, and I suppose, initially, some of that might have rubbed off. Her closeness to those running the war machine also comes quickly to mind, as do her dalliances with Wall Street and Corporate America.

Then there's her seeming inability to champion anything progressive without being nudged into that camp as a Bernie Sanders, Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom of California, or Utah Sen. Jim Dabakis type.

Obvious examples, I suppose, would be her little-more-than-tepid support for myriad Indigenous causes making the rounds – such as opposing the Dakota Access Pipeline at Standing Rock, North Dakota, creating a Bears Ears National Monument and freeing Leonard Peltier.

All that being said, however, I see Hillary as our only hope to emerge even minimally intact following Tuesday's election. Votes for a third-party candidate would be little different than voting for Trump. Plus, I have much more faith in her "fitness" to run the country.

Actually, for me, that's where it's been heading all along. Certainly much more of a Bernie-kind-of-guy during the primary season, I just never believed the country was hip enough to try him on for size. Not that, as I have mentioned, I was totally enamored with any of the alternatives. But this election cycle, I can easily live with Hillary as Madame President.

I should also mention, just in case there is someone reading this who assumes I have at least one objective bone in my body, that not one Republican presidential nominee has ever caused my pulse to quicken. Come to think of it though, I did write a paper in early elementary school expounding upon the virtues of Dwight David Eisenhower.

That was a short-lived romance, however, as once I heard Ike's vice presidential running mate, Richard Nixon, refer to his opponent Adlai Stevenson as an "egghead," I immediately switched allegiance. Whatever it meant, I immediately knew "egghead" worked for me.

As I voted by mail a week back, forcing me to wait an additional week for the results to manifest themselves, I have time to kill and will more than likely spend it pondering the historical "dirtiness" of American electoral politics and the places within it currently occupied by Rep. Chaffetz and FBI Director Comey.

I assume they both see themselves as occupying the moral high ground. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and I had a chance to throw a monkey wrench into the inner-workings of the Trump campaign, I would apply a bit of cammo, tie on a headband and proceed to get "medieval" with the process.

But as far as getting the visions of Trump-Putin and/or Chaffetz-Comey out of my head, there's been little, if any, progress. It's as if they're riding bareback on one of those insects that bore into your brain via the inner ear. I can hear their shouts from here. "Come and get me, you loser!"

The Republicans are dug in and prepared for a Clinton win. Chaffetz, of course, has already lined-out a minimum two-years worth of impeachment hearings while, at the same time, Sen. John McCain has promised to euthanize the Supreme Court through attrition by continuing the congressional embargo on Democratic nominees.
The whole thing's rigged, I tell ya!

Jay Meehan is a culture junkie and has been an observer, participant, and chronicler of the Park City and Wasatch County social and political scenes for more than 40 years.