Letters: Parkite makes a presidential announcement
January 22, 2019
A presidential announcement
OK, I'm in!
I wanted The Park Record to be the forum for announcing that I am running for president of the United States. There have been several other people in the past couple weeks who have announced their candidacy, and the seats on the bus are rapidly filling up! But before I solicit campaign donations from you, let me list some of my qualifications: I am a certified member of a disadvantaged minority (old, white male), I have a lifetime of experience (see "old"), I commit to serving only one term (see "old" again), I am a firm believer in term limits for members of Congress (have you seen some of those "senior" members?!), I am not indentured to any political party, I believe in a woman's right to choose but not that I am obligated to pay for her decision (or her birth control measures, unless I am likewise provided free "male performance enhancing medications"), I don't believe in a "free" anything, I believe that all members of Congress should only have the same medical and retirement systems available to the majority of Americans, and I believe that all pay and benefits for members of Congress and their staffs should be permanently forfeited any period where any government organizations are not funded (the budget is, after all, their primary constitutional responsibility). Watch this space for future announcements of rallies, town halls, etc. And, oh yeah, I will accept Bitcoin campaign donations, so your anonymity can be assured.
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