I am writing to express my profound enthusiasm for the recent proposal to allocate a whopping $30 million towards an absolutely essential and utterly transformative recreation bill in our charming tourism-based town. You see, I believe that prioritizing such recreational endeavors over silly, mundane matters like improving the local economy with subsidized childcare facilities and establishing affordable housing is not just wise; it’s pure genius!

First and foremost, pickleball, ice sheet, and a plethora of recreation facilities are clearly the cornerstone of our town’s cultural identity. Not the people who live here. Not the people who work here. I mean, who needs housing or affordable child care when we can all blissfully waltz around on ice or slam pickleballs into oblivion, right? It’s not like economic stability and child-care options are the lifeblood of a thriving community. 

Moreover, investing in such luxurious leisure activities will undoubtedly draw visitors from far and wide. We can expect all the people that live here to flourish in our town, not for the sake of gainful employment or reliable childcare services, but rather the unrivaled majesty of our ice sheets and pickleball courts. Imagine the headlines: “Small Town on the Verge of Affordable Housing Crisis and Labor Shortages Lures High Rollers with Pickleball Courts!” Who needs financial solvency when we can bask in the glory of pickleball-related fame?

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Let’s not forget the transformative power of these endeavors on our youth. Rather than nurturing the skills and talents of the future generation by providing them with quality education via affordable childcare, we can teach them the valuable life lessons that hedonism matters above all else. 

Now, I understand that some may argue that investing in subsidized child-care facilities would be a more practical and responsible use of public funds. But I say, why be practical when we can be extravagant? Why be responsible when we can be reckless? Who cares about the future when we can indulge in the present? Why bother using $30 million to solve real problems when we can just “paddle the ball” down the road. 

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I wholeheartedly support the recreation bill aimed at blowing cash on pickleball and whatever else has people flocking to Park City in droves. We are in such a massive shortage of things to do in this town. It is a testament to our town’s unwavering commitment to fun over frivolous things like affordable housing and supporting our labor force. After all, who needs a thriving community when you can have an ice-skating, pickleball paradise?

I trust that you will take my satirical letter into consideration and continue to champion the cause of leisure over practicality. Our town’s future depends on it!

Casey Sowul

Park City